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May 26, 2005

Tuesday, May 24, 2005 1109PM
Squatty Potty Blues

Today as I was at the head quarters of what may possibly be my new office, I had to go #2. The thing is I was wearing jeans and all they have is a squatty potty. This is normally not a big deal, however today I had a small note book in my back pocket that contained my credit cards and some other important stuff. It of course fell out of my pocket and directly into the hole in the ground. Luckily the book did not fall completely in the whole. Unfortunately my most needed card was half way submerged. A brief moment past as I enjoyed the irony of having to retrieve the card that allows me to get in more debt from a crap filled whole in Afghanistan. I decided I had a lot of commitment to my spending power. I think it would make a great commercial. “MasterCard it’s so powerful you’ll pull it out of your own facieses” or something to that effect.

ANY WHO HA

So there is a very large kidnapping threat here now, and a suicide bomber threat. It has gotten worse since I was here last, but there the same threats. A lady is still in captivity here, she was kidnapped last week. Rumors are they killed her, but some are denying it tonight so who knows. As far as the new potential job goes, they are set on having me here, but they are hesitating to allow me to take the position I want as it is in a part of the country that is rather turbulent at this time (our office was attacked and burned down last week) and they think my nationality may be an issue there. I basically told them I am only interested in the job if I get to be there. They have offered a couple other places in the country but I am not so interested in that. So I am out of town tomorrow and will be on my way back to the west in no time…. But who knows for how long.

I am ready to be around some family and some of my stuff. I was chatting with a friend today online and realized that I have become some sort of sensitive guy. Not emotional, just sensitive. The x-pats here in my office swear like sailors, now I know what sailors sound like and I have heard my self talk like that many times before…. But for some reason this time, it affected me. I was quite turned off by it and wondered why anyone would listen to the advice of a supposedly professional I the information came out combined with that kind of talk. Many NGO’s here are no better than the big faceless abusive government organizations. I am very concerned with the amount of money that is spent here by NGO’s and the UN because it is not at all in proportion to the good or the positive that has been done here. For the amount of money that has been spent here in this city alone, you can’t even see improvements that would make you think 1/5 of the total that has been spent was spent.

The only organizations that are making a lasting difference are those who have a belief in something. Whether it’s a genuine belief in human rights (VERY RARE), or a religious belief, the vast majority of the NGO/UN/AID organizations have little perspective or respect regarding the people, culture, customs, and long term ramifications of there actions here. The longer I live, the more I realize that humans in general are completely out for themselves, their are very few people who can be trusted with the task of honestly managing and being responsible with and for other peoples lives. It’s a self propelling cycle of hurt, abuse and mistrust coupled with the words of good will and some good intentions once in a while.

But for all the negative I can see here, I can also see some amazing people and projects who are changing the world for good. And when it comes down to it, this place is no where near as bad as most of the things going on in Africa!

I need to get back to the place I just left. Its where my heart and interest lay. I need to get my projects funded and get out there and use the influence I have been given to change the world for good. It’s a tough path, but if I can make it happen I know it will be a billion times better than anything I could do here with this group. SO… all you who want to change the world for good, e-mail me and send money.

Oh and I still need a Scribe.

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