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November 27, 2004

Why my computer is my most successful relationship 

Top 20

Its always unemotionally there for me
It generates revenue
It enlightens me
It retains knowledge for me
It remembers everything for me
It only gives me issues once a year, max
It doesn’t bleed
It is multi functional
It can multi task like crazy
It doesn’t mind when I control it (in fact it needs me)
Its fast and accurate
It facilitates communication between me and the world
It brings me hours of joy everyday
It has very few if any expectations
It corrects me with out an attitude
I enjoy taking care of it
I buy it things it likes and works well with
I take it with me everywhere and its reliable no matter where I am, what I am doing or who I am with
It’s an investment that is worth the money and effort put into it
It makes me a better person

Now many would read this and think I have problems…. And I do, however do not interpret this list as qualities I need in a human relationship. That’s impossible. This list represents the fact that my computer fills more gaps in my life than any human being can or has. Not more important gaps, not more essential gaps, just MORE gaps across the board and does it reliably every time.

Did I mention that my computer never cries?

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